Thursday 22 January 2015

Australia Day Long Weekend Part 2 - Don't Drink The Water

(Continued... 
note: if you haven't read Part 1 click here or this will make even less sense than it actually does)

Next thing we know it's Australia Day and we're hungover.

Each year we celebrate all that is Australia Day by being hungover, blowing up the mini outdoor pool, filling it with water as we cook the bbq, restock the Esky (chilly bin, cooler, box to keep the beer cold), shoo some flies, paint our faces with zinc, apply fake Australian sticker tattoos and turn on the radio to listen to the inaugural Triple J Hottest 100.

Wednesday 21 January 2015

Australia Day Long Weekend Part 1 - Fly-Shooing, Thigh-Slapping, Head-Shaking, Sweat It Out

As the post-Christmas/New-Year-Holiday-depression roots itself into my work scenario and, as I'm cussing myself (quite loudly and, if I do say, unnecessarily crudely too) at having wasted my holiday not coming up with a brilliant idea on how not to have to go back to work again, the Australia Day holiday approaches. Here to save the day of every hard-working Aussie with the simple dream of never having to work a day in their life again. At least for a day. You bloody beauty.

Monday 5 January 2015

Bringing in the New Year - Salutations and Salivations

[ THIS WAS PUBLISHED ONLINE BY INTERNATIONAL LITERARY ONLINE JOURNAL QUEEN MOB'S TEAHOUSE AS 'SOMEBODY BRING IN THE NEW YEAR' ]

Preface: Please bear in mind* this article was intended to be read on New Years Eve, though it was written in early 2015. One of my New Year's resolutions is to be less distracted by shiny objects, and more inclined to manage my time better (and less inclined against the bar most nights). 
Time machine not included.
(*During a successful 14 hour neurological surgery the bear was removed by TV doctor, Dr House. Though not a real doctor per se, he has a delightfully funny bedside manner which was worth the risk)

As the last day of 2014 dawned upon us, friends were heard to shriek "AGH! A cockroach!!", for there was a large cockroach making it's way across the seafood buffet.